The Renga Blog

I’m bumping this renga up to a sixteen verse length. This might make it too long, but I decided I’d like to play around with allowing more time for themes to expand. We’ll see how it goes!
Adiel contributed this beginning verse:

wide eyes
small hands
in a big world

innocence
a beautiful shine

the glowing embers
cast before
the gathered storm

winds of change blow
fan the flames

shifting seasons
carry us
where?

the ocean speaks
but gives no answer

questions
answers
all just sand

through the hourglass
whispering as it falls

listen
whispering time
sliding through my fingers

gone, gone
but not often missed

staring at photographs
distant smiling faces
almost forgotten

snapshots of lives and souls
captured in images

I know I’m a bit late posting this–I’ve been a bit busy lately–but I thought it was worth continuing the habit of discussing the renga after it was finished. I don’t actually have a lot to say about this one. I think we all (yes, all three of us) had the same take on what it was we were talking about, so we all brought our own perspectives and angles to a remarkably unified renga. And it seems we were all quite pleased with the result.
As far as renga technique goes, we still don’t necessarily have the same kind of break between each verse and the one two verses ago that you find in a traditional renga, but I’m inclined to say that’s just our style. We’re definitely keeping it flowing and not letting it stagnate in one spot. So, I really don’t have a specific suggestions for next time–just that we should keep practicing and see if we can keep getting better.
Anyone else have any input? Anything you particularly liked about this renga? Any weak spots? (Even if you didn’t help write the renga, I’d be interested in your opinion as a reader.)

We’re back! I know, I know, it’s about time. If you’ve forgotten how this works, check out the aptly named How This Works and About Renga pages in the sidebar. Now start writing some renga!
(This time we have Gabrielle to thank for starting us off.)

gray sky
yellow lamplight
shining on my book

mere letters on paper
creating stories

stories come to live
as companions in my head
chiselled from the mist

friends I’ve never met
treasured moments that never happened

lonely with my dreams
waiting for my someday friend
this time maybe real

a hand to touch mine
a heart to know mine

laughing as one
thoughts intertwined
it wasn’t even that funny

fleeting moments twined to life
with echoes of laughter

rolling away
watching them go
wanting these moments back

rolling on to eternity
waiting for us there

today just a glimpse
of the forever light
shines through the cracks

Hands warmed by the light
turn to grip the sword

This is just a quick post to draw your attention to the comments on the twelve verse renga. Adiel posted a choice of two closing verses–I have my own preference between the two of them, but I thought I’d let y’all have a chance to discuss it before I disclose my opinion.

This time we’re going to try out a seasonal shift in the renga. We start out with the season we’re in and continue as normal (with or without referencing seasons or seasonal words) for a few verses before we go on to the next season. In a twelve verse renga we’ll change seasons after about three verses, but it’s not a hard and fast rule. There are a few more details here if you’re interested.

This time we have Barb to thank for our hokku. You should have a pretty good idea how this works now, so have at it!

gray skies blanket the earth
like a large cozy quilt–
rain sings it’s lullaby on the awnings

patchwork leaves drift earthbound
laden with glistening droplets

swish and crunch
leaves
beneath my feet

scatter like snowflakes
blown before the wind

eddies of swirling snow
blowing like whispers
of forgotten dreams

listen closely!
your dreams will be remembered

hear them trickling back–
once frozen memories
flow in sunlight now

sunlight on the Earth’s face
time to wake up

basking in the warmth
dormant hope rouses
and reaches to the sky

hope grows into laughter
bouncing like a beach ball

rainbow beach ball
blue, blue sky
colors of a child’s delight

summer rain and splashing puddles
call me outside to play

Now that we’ve finished our first renga, it seemed like it would be good idea to sit back and figure out what we’re doing well and what parts need some work.

We had linkage of a verse to the one before it down pretty well. Some of the ones I liked best were when a verse echoed a key word from the verse before but put it in a different context. Even when none of the words repeated, I liked the echo of concepts and moods.

Our most obvious flubs had to do with lack of distance between a verse and the one two verses before it. The best example I can come up with is that a renga is like a path. You start and there’s a smooth flow from beginning to end, but you keep moving and you never backtrack. (Though just the muddy the waters, the end might just echo the beginning. Take a look at the first and last verses of this renga again.) Does that make sense to everyone? Is it helpful?

I’d like to experiment with different lengths, but do you think in general we should try for longer or shorter renga? Any other thoughts on improving our renga technique?

In accord with renga tradition I asked Seth to start the renga. His hokku (the first verse) is below; I have added the second verse myself.

searching in the night
the sounds of distant music
lead us far from home

ignore the dancing shadows
moonlight glows upon the path

ignore the sounds of city
music echoes in the night
beauty in this madness

soon the night shall fall
soon the sun shall rise

daylight brings no peace
yet dawn shall ever be
the hope of man

autumn showers falling
washing tears away

into a bottle
filled with His love
ever after running over

the morning sun rises
weeping clouds drift away

a breeze blows cold
catching sunrise as a sail
pushing me on

sky like an ocean
if only I could touch it

dive off the Earth
come
swim in the sky

frozen moon rising
scatters swirling snow

in moonlight’s mirror
dimly
I see His face

in the bathroom mirror
dimly I see His face

turn away but don’t forget
the image clearly seen
it’s time to start the day

my eyes are filled with life
my mouth is filled with song

Greetings, and welcome to the renga blog. I’ll be posting the first verse of our first renga shortly. In the mean time, check out the pages of explanation in the sidebar, and prepare to write renga!